Peter Pan
by See Jane Conform
Summary: (rated for language) '...all children, except one, grow up...' it's a GOB fic (Goku/Bulma...you heard me) and it's a (semi)realistic look at how they might get together... (complete)
1. Prologue

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Warning:

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READ THIS BEFORE YOU PROCEED

This is a Goku and Bulma romance. I realize that they are not a 'conventional' couple, I also realize they are not together on the show. Now because they aren't together in the normal DBZ timeline, I needed to stretch the characters a bit. So in this Bulma is a bit too weepy, (my take is she's suffering from post-partem depression after the birth of Trunks) and Goku is less dense. Having said that, if it bothers you in any way, please stop reading. You will not like this story. 

If you are still here, read at your own risk. I'd love to hear what you think of the story, and if you have any **constructive** criticism, by all means share. But I'd like to ask you to please refrain from personal attacks. If you do enjoy this story, I suggest you check out some of the other marvelous g/b writers out there and to support them with positive reviews. It seems our community is the cause of some controversy and is often being flamed, so just send them a nice word or two if you have the time. Well, now that I've taken up enough of your time. Enjoy! (and don't say I didn't warn you!)

Peter Pan V.1.2 

(minor revisions grammar wise, nothing essential to the plot)

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"All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this for ever!" This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end." -James M. Barrie

Her hands twitched at her sides, the desire for violence only thinly held back in her fragile grasp. Bulma was furious! Her friend had seen her innocently sleeping with Goku a couple days ago and chose _now_ to bring it up and insinuate… she couldn't even finish the thought she was so outraged. 

"It's not that! I was leaning against him and I guess we just fell asleep. You know I would never cheat on Vegita! God, I never said my relationship with Vegita was perfect, or even that stable, but I've never once looked at another man! " Lauren was set to let the last statement go, so Bulma was a bit delusional. That was nothing new. It was the next comment –or rather the accusing tone that accompanied it- that set her off. "How could you think _I_ would not only cheat, but use one of my _friend's_ husbands to do it with?"

"How could I think that?" she repeated incredulously, "Of course _you_ would never do something like that! You're Miss Perfect, I can't believe I forgot for a moment." Her words were laced with sarcasm, and her eyes flashed dangerously. "News flash, sweet pea. You've been cheating on him since day one. Get off your high horse and smell the adultery!" 

"I- how could you say something like that? You know I've been faithful." Instead of angry, for once Bulma just looked exhausted.

The quiet in Bulma's voice forced her to calm hers as well. 

"There's more then one kind of cheating. You may not have let another man put his hands on you, but it's no less serious. 'Mind, Body, and Soul.' Ring any bells?" Lauren took pity on her friend –she'd see how long that word held up after they were finished- and decided to explain. "With Vegita, it's all about passion. You have this chemistry between you, this undeniable electricity. You fight and you fuck and it's dangerous and sexy and animalistic and you –love- it. But you don't love him." she held up a hand to stop Bulma's protest, "Don't deny it. Goku is the one that you let in your heart, and he's in the one place Vegita can't touch, the one place you won't let him touch. It's always been that way."

"You're wrong. Goku's my best friend. But that's it, he's nothing more." She said it with complete conviction. 

She'd never once thought of Goku as more then a friend, she had a hard enough time thinking of him as a _man_.

"C'mon Bulma, you can't honestly believe that." Two pairs of eyes met and held. "He's the one you run to when things go wrong, he's the one you hide behind. You tell him things you don't tell anyone else. You confide in him when the father of your child –not the mention the rest of your friends- are left in the dark. You have complete, unconditional trust in him- and you don't trust anyone Bulma. If that's not being emotionally unfaithful –I…who knows."

"I-" She shook her head. What was there to say to something like that?

Both women sighed.

"Bulma, you know I love you. I'm only saying this because I'm your friend. I mean, haven't you ever wondered why you haven't had a single healthy relationship? It's because no guy can touch you. No man is going to make a commitment to you knowing he'll always be number two in your life." 

"But- Yamcha…"

"Yamcha cheated on you. And he was wrong to do so, but don't delude yourself into thinking it was all his fault. Maybe if you had looked at him like you looked at G-"

"Don't. Just…why are you doing this?" She blinked back tears.

"Because it's time someone should. It's not a secret, Bulma, everybody knows. You think Chi-chi doesn't? She sees the way he looks at you. She sees how he adores you. From before he could remember, you've always been the girl he's measured everyone else against."

"Well she has him now doesn't she?" Bulma couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her and Chi-chi had never been close but she couldn't believe the other woman would think….

"She doesn't have him now. That's the point. She has his body, but you've always had his heart." She laughed, but it was a harsh sound lacking any warmth. "I wonder if the idiot even realizes how in love with you he is."

She left then, leaving Bulma alone with her turmoil and confusion.

It wasn't possible. She was wrong, she had to be. She stared out the window. The sky was so blue, so clear… so unlike her muddled mind. A day like this you could see for miles…

__

"Why do you want to wish for a boyfriend anyway?"

"Well, I… well that's just what you do when you get older. Don't you ever want to get married?"

"I don't know… I guess. Bulma?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be your boyfriend."

"It doesn't work like that you moron. There's a huge difference between a friend and a boyfriend." Honestly, she always had to explain things to him. "Boyfriends are…different. And you have to be in love with them."

"Oh. So what kind of boyfriend are you going to wish for?"

"I don't know. He's got to be strong, and dangerous and proud and…and a prince! What about you?"

"I don't want a boyfriend. Blech!" He squirmed at the thought.

"I meant what would you wish for in a girlfriend, doofus."

"I don't know." He scratched his head. "I guess she'd be like….well, you."

The memory came somewhere from the back of her mind unbidden. She smiled a little at the thought of it. Well her prediction came true…a little too true, but his was way off. She wasn't anything like Chichi!

She tried to push her conversation with Lauren out of her head. Of course he'd want a girlfriend like her, she was the only girl he had really known. Besides, they were just kids. 

She reached for the phone and dialed the number from memory.

"Hey Chichi, what's up?"

"Not much, just making dinner."

"Dinner?" she looked at the clock, "it's barely two in the afternoon."

"Well, there's a lot of dinner to make."

"Oh. Um, Chichi? Is Goku there?"

"Yeah." 

"Could you tell him I called and send him over when he has a chance? I need to talk to him."

"Yeah, will do Bulma. I have to go. It's was nice talking to you." Click.

Bulma stared at the phone in her hands. Chichi was just busy, that's why she was so abrupt. And she was sure it must just be her imagination that put the darkened tone in the other woman's voice when she asked for Goku. Chichi was by no means shy, she would have said something long ago if she thought there was anything going on between her and Goku, right?

Bulma absently pulled some bread out of the refrigerator and started preparing sandwiches. It wasn't until she had several plates stacked with food that she stopped and realized she was doing it. She always made food when she knew Goku was coming over. It was just a habit. She told herself it was just because he flew over here faster when he smelled food but –no. It was just a nice thing to do for a friend. She ignored the fact that she hated to cook and rarely even made anything for herself. Its not like Goku didn't work up an appetite saving her butt over and over again…she owed it to him.

Predictably, as soon as she finished preparing the food she turned around to find him seated at the table. The rustle of the curtains the only thing to give away how quickly he got there. She placed the sandwiches in front of him and watched as he inhaled them. She took in how wide his mouth opened, the crumbs that coated him from the food that missed his mouth, and the belch he let out as he finished and leaned back in his chair. Surely they were joking? How could she love…_that_? 

"That was great Bulma, thanks! What did you want to talk to me about?" She stayed silent for a moment more. She knew firsthand she wasn't the greatest cook…hell, compared to Chichi she didn't even deserve to call herself a cook. But Goku always praised her like she was the female Emeril. 

What did that mean? 

That Goku was a nice guy? That _somebody_ must have taught him _some_ manners. That she was lethal when insulted?

Surely not that he had feelings for her… She was overanalyzing things again. She hated when she did that. Sometimes she envied the ease with which Goku accepted the world. 

"It was nothing… just something my friend said to me earlier. I think I just overreacted. Now I just feel silly."

She rubbed her eyes. Why did she ask him to come over anyway? She hadn't seriously thought she would tell him what Lauren had said. The conversation had just upset her and she needed to talk to someone. 

__

"He's the one you run to when things go wrong…"

"What's wrong Bulma?" He had a concerned look on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and it struck her how young and innocent he looked. Young, innocent and one of the most powerful beings in the universe… he always was a walking contradiction she thought fondly.

"Nothing." She forced a smile for his sake.

"Did Vegita say or do something?"

"No, I said nothing was wrong."

"Cause I can talk to him for you if you want-"

"Nothings wrong Goku!" she screamed at him. She was immediately apologetic, that had come out harsher then she intended. It wasn't right to take her frustrations out on him. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just feeling a little off today." Tears threatened her vision, but she refused to let them fall. She was just overreacting.

Goku thought for a minute. He knew something was really bothering her but he didn't know what he could do if she didn't tell him what it was. He hated seeing her unhappy, and it seemed she was more and more losing that happiness they had possessed when they were younger. He knew she thought he was still a child, that he never grew up. But if growing up meant becoming so much more cynical, meant losing that joy of…everything, then he was fine staying right where he was. 

He wished he could take her back to that time himself. Back then, even when she was screaming at him eyes flashing and arms flailing, he knew nothing was really wrong. She'd get over it as quick as it had come on and then they'd be best friends again. 

Now, everything was different. He could feel his Bulma slowly slipping away. With her taking more and more responsibility at Capsule Corp, and her tumultuous relationship with Vegita, not to mention trying to be a good mother to a half-saiyan… she was slowly crumbling under the stress. 

And he, Goku, savior of the world how ever many times over, was scared. 

He was scared because he was watching his best friend fall apart, and he didn't know a damn thing he could do to stop it. He felt completely powerless.

Bet she didn't know how much her 'care-free' friend did worry....

"Come on." He got up and tugged her hand. He overestimated his strength and she popped out of her seat and into his chest. He flashed her a grin and pulled her outside.

"Goku, stop! Where are we going?"

"Were going on an adventure Bulma, just like old times." He pulled her into his arms, ignored her startled gasp and took to the sky.

"Goku! What are you talking about? We can't just leave." The tears escaped her eyes and were slipping over her cheeks but she was laughing.

"Why not?" He watched the ground race by beneath them. He had always loved flying with her…and why couldn't they go back? She was so much happier then… He wanted to see her smile again, a real genuine smile.

"Because, that's not the way it works. How did it ever get in your head to go on an adventure anyway? Haven't we had our fair share of adventures?"

"But don't you remember how it used to be? Before… -before everything. When it was just you and me and the open skies on an adventure."

"Of course I remember Goku but-"

"Do you really remember? How it used to feel? You were so happy then –we both were. Everything was perfect." He looked at her, really looked at her, "Why can't we go back Bulma? Why can't we just leave now and go on an adventure. Just you and me, like it was before. Why can't we just take off right now?"

She didn't miss the pleading tone in his voice and the tears that escaped her eyes were for a different reason now. She tried to give him a smile, but she knew it didn't look convincing.

"You know I want to but-"

"So let's go!" 

"No, Goku." She said it softly but he heard it too clearly. They were already miles from her house. He stopped and set them down in a deserted area. At first she looked everywhere but at him. He couldn't know how hard it was not to just throw everything away and go with him. What he was offering her…. But one of them had to be the grown up, and she supposed it was just her lot in life to be it.

She turned back to face him. "We can't leave, Goku. There are too many people that depend on us; too many responsibilities and obligations that tie us here. I want to but- think about Chichi, and Gohan and Vegeta and Trunks and Capsule Corp. and what happens if some big bad comes along while were gone? We're too old to go on adventures. You can't live in the past. That part of our life is over." the tears she thought had abated were returning now and she closed her eyes, willing them to go away. "Maybe some day…"

He returned her trembling smile, for once not being naive enough to believe the empty words.

"Yeah…some day."

He brushed away the tears that still fell down her soft cheek with his callous thumb. 

"Don't cry Bulma."

She lifted her watery eyes to meet his gaze. It was filled with concern and it broke her heart to see her normally care-free friend worried. As much as she teased him about never growing up, it was one of the things she loved about him. It was a nice contrast to her cynicism.

Lauren's words echoed in her mind.

__

"Goku's the one that you let in your heart."

"It's always been that way."

She clutched him close to her, hanging on his body for support as if she was as unsteady as her mind. He wrapped her in his arms, pulling her even closer, and rested his chin on her head as she soaked his shirt in her tears. And for a moment, in each other's arms, they were together –the two of them- like it had always been, like maybe it was always been meant to be…..

And when hours later, the two pulled apart, and he flew her home; and she went into her house, and rescued the nanny from her son, and cradling the crying infant in her arms she whispered "It's going to be all right." She knew it was.


	2. ...so don these broken wings...

Song quotes by megadeth…story takes place a month or so after prologue

'_sands of time run out_'

"As you can see in figure 4.1, our problem lies with our packaging cost variable and not with the production numbers which can be easily remedied. If you could refer to the handouts section 7, our contract with G. N. Likssess is up for option in August and by changing our supplier we could increase sales by 11%." Bulma clicked the button to advance to the next slide, a chart appearing on the large screen behind her. She lifted her glass from the boardroom table and downed it quickly, setting it down and self-consciously smoothing out her power suit. She looked around at the gathering of stockholders and tried to stave off the nausea she felt as all their eyes rested on hers. Her family had run Capsule Corp. nearly single-handedly for as long as she could remember, but the company's success hadn't persuaded the stock-holders to give her free-reign. No, the fact that she was a young woman, as opposed to the middle aged white males she currently faced, still kept her coming back to this damned boardroom and giving presentations to people –people she could buy and sell- because they owned an operative interest in the company. That meant, unfortunately, that every breath she took on the company's time, had to be approved. She set her glass down and advanced the slide one more. "Which brings me to my next point-"

"Ms. Briefs?" 

Twelve heads swung around to stare at her secretary as she peeked in.

"I'm in a meeting Suzy. Whatever it is can wait."

"It's, um. I'm sorry Ms. Briefs, but it's a family emergency."

Bulma looked between her secretary and her presentation. She was losing their respect by the second with this conversation, but if she left only to find out Vegita was hungry she'd murder someone. 

Family emergency, she'd heard that one before. 

She wanted to just ignore it. Whatever it was could wait. Whatever it was _had_ to wait.

"I'll deal with it _later_ Suzy." Her tone left no room for argument. Suzy lowered her eyes and reluctantly backed out of the room, closing the door. 

Bulma sighed. To say this meeting was important was a gross understatement. She sighed again.

She knew she was going to regret this in the morning.

"Wait!" she called out, Suzy halted her retreat and reopened the door. Bulma acknowledged the board; "I'm sorry, but I-. Suzy will take care of rescheduling. I really have to go." 

"Your Mom's on line two." her secretary whispered as she slid past her to get out of the room.

Bulma crossed the reception area into her office. With one last look of longing cast to the boardroom, she picked up the phone.

"Yeah?"

"Sweetie, I know you're busy but Trunks destroyed the nanny-bot again. Your father's working on it but it won't be completed for some time."

"Can't you handle him for a while?"

"He's being…spirited right now. You're the only one that can calm him down." Bulma cradled her head in her hands. Of all the times… still, she remembered what happened the last time her 'sweet boy' was acting 'spirited'. Her mother would remember it for even longer. The bones in her hand had healed but it still pained her when the weather was damp. 

"Damn supersaiysan, I ought to rip out his…" Bulma muttered under her breath.

"Bulma!" came her mother's quick reprimand.

"Well where is the lout anyway? Did it ever occur to him to watch his own son?"

"He's…. Well, you see…" 

"Mother..."

"He's on one of his, er- holidays."

"Figures." she gave an un-lady-like snort. "When did he leave anyway?"

"A couple weeks ago, dear."

"A couple weeks?" She sat up in shock. That couldn't be. She had just talked to him…. 

A couple weeks, huh? 

"How could I have missed that?" Bulma said it more to herself but her mother answered anyway.

"Well, you've been busy with work and-"

"Work? What kind of person is so busy with work they don't notice the father of their child is gone until after almost a month!" Sure they had their ups and downs, but regardless of whatever shit they put each other through in the daylight, they were almost never apart after the sun set. After she got pregnant with Trunks things naturally had to change but… 

Maybe she needed to tag along the next time Vegita took a 'holiday'. 

A loud crash sounded on the other end of the phone.

"Um, I need to let you go sweet heart, will I be seeing you soon?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way."

She hung up the phone numbly and looked at the clock on her wall. It was 5 p.m. but she normally didn't leave until well after midnight…. the nights she went home. More often then not she crashed on the couch in her office. She rubbed her eyes. She had been going for so long it seemed that everything suddenly was catching up with her. She felt a dull ache in her stomach and idly wondered when the last time she ate anything was. She thought she might have grabbed a power bar a day or two ago. With everything she had to do, stopping to eat had seemed like slacking off. 

The past few months her life had just been slowly deteriorating and she didn't have the drive to do anything about it. What was the point? It wasn't going to get better. Maybe she wasn't meant to be happy. Maybe she was meant to be bitter and cynical. It seemed smarter in any case. After all, how could anybody crush your hopes if you didn't allow yourself any to begin with? See, she couldn't be that far-gone if she had a strategy. 

Besides, even if throwing her self into her work to escape wasn't the healthiest route, it was far from uncommon. And its not as if the things she were doing didn't need to be done. Her psychoanalyst would tell her she was trying to compensate her 'need to be needed' in work for how useless she was –…felt…as if there was a difference- in her home life. Hell, she couldn't even manage a relationship based on casual sex without screwing it up. 

She was just a screw-up in general. 

Her own mom was scared to baby sit her grandchild, because it was freakishly strong…another thing that was her fault for fucking an alien. 

She got home -she wasn't sure quite how, she was functioning on auto-pilot- and kicked off her shoes before following the wails of her son to where he sat with her mom. A smile crept onto her face as she lifted up her baby boy. His crying stopped immediately when he recognized her. She stared down at his perfect face; at least she did one thing right. She carried him into her room and set him down in the middle of her king size bed before climbing beside him. And together, they fell into a peaceful sleep.

__

"Look, that cloud looks like a bowl of spaghetti, and that fluffy one over there looks like marshmallows." Goku pointed first one way, then another at the sky to Bulma. They were lying on their backs on the soft grass, their heads close to each other. "What do you see?"

"I'm too old to play childish games like that Goku." She gave her younger friend a look before rolling her head back up to look at the sky. "You are too."

"C'mon Bulma! It's fun. Don't you see how that one, right there," he lifted his hand to trace a cloud far away in the sky, "looks just like a drumstick?"

"Do they all look like food to you?" she laughed but gave in. "Fine." She searched the sky for a minute before pointing one out to him, "That one looks like your hair when you first wake up!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!" She argued back but soon they both gave in to a fit of giggles.

"Bulma." He said when they had regained their breath.

"Hmm?"

"I don't ever want to get too old to look up at the sky." 

The grass always did seem so much greener and the sky so much bluer back then.

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I'll be there for you, when you walk through the fire  
I'll be there for you, when the flames get higher  
When nothing fits and nothing seems right  
Till the very last breath of my life, I'll be there for you

megadeth 

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It was a couple days later that Vegita came home. Bulma cornered him as he snuck in late at night.

"Where were you?" 

"None of your goddamn business woman." She stepped in front of him so he couldn't pass. "Move out of my way."

"Not until you tell me where you were. You can't just keep going off whenever you want to. It might have been different before but you need to be more responsible now. We have a son Vegita! That means something."

"Says the woman that spends more time on the couch in her office then in her own bed."

"That's not fair. You know how hard I-"

"Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture. I've heard it before." He pushed past her and headed up the stairs. 

"Something has to change, Vegita."

"Hey, neither one of us will be up for parents of the year, but I think we'll survive. Hell, you said often enough you _didn't_ want the brat growing up with my influence and now you're on my case about not being around enough?"

"Why do you leave anyway? What's so important?"

"In case you've forgotten, I'm not human. I've put up with enough of this 'assimilation' shit. Your whole _life_ is against my nature. So if I need to disappear for a while, I'd say that was none of your business."

"But Goku-"

"is an idiot."

"He's smarter then you."

Vegita let out a derisive snort and decided that was reply enough.

"He is. Maybe not in the conventional sense but he picks up more then you give him credit for. He's the only one that found out my _secret_."

"Secret?"

"Yeah, bet you didn't even know I _had_ a secret. Bet you also didn't know I've been suffering from depression, or that I've slowly been losing my grip on my mind, or that I feel like I don't have any control over my life or….or how close I've come to just ending it all." Her screams died down to a whisper at the end of her tirade. She hadn't meant to let all that slip out. He stayed silent a moment, his eyes on hers, an unreadable emotion flickering in the black depths. 

"There's a difference between knowing and caring." He stared at her, shock was written openly on her face. Shock and hurt. He didn't feel any remorse, his statement shouldn't have come as a shock to her at all. "Don't ever forget. _I'm not Goku_."

He took advantage of her shock induced paralysis to leave her and slip into his room. 

He thought she was smarter then that. He thought she was stronger then that. 

Like he hadn't noticed her falling apart. What'd she think he was going to do? Wipe her sniveling nose and tell her it was going to be all right? It wasn't his place and that was just as much due to her as it was to him. 

Besides, she needed to be strong for herself…not anyone else. The sooner she realized that the better.

A slight –almost imperceptible- smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he heard her regain her senses with a string of curses and crashes. She cried enough the last year… at least hot rage was better then cold tears.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

You live in a world of fantasy  
You live in a web of deceit  
You want it all including me  
You like it all to be neat

- megadeth

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"What's wrong Goku?"

"Somethings wrong with Bulma."

"How do you know?"

"I don't know, Chi. I just kind of do."

She let out a sigh

"Go to her."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure, I mean-" But he was gone. Chichi let out another sigh and stared out the window. 

He was gone too far for her to see even a trace but she stared just the same. 

It seemed like that was a metaphor for their entire relationship.

She had thought it was just a crush. She thought once that they got married he'd get over it- he'd get over _her_. But she should have known the pedestal he had her on was too high and too strong to ever get knocked down.

"Mom?" She turned to see Gohan standing over her, a questioning gaze fixed on her.

"I'm fine." She smiled weakly to reassure him. She was ashamed to admit even having Gohan had been a stupid attempt to finally get Goku's attention all to herself, and for a while she almost thought it had worked but… It's funny now that instead of saving their marriage, he ended up saving her. Somehow, Goku's distracted attention didn't sting as much with him around. In him, she finally had a piece of Goku completely devoted to her. Maybe that was why she poured so much of her into him, into watching him, feeding him, and making sure he studied and got good grades. He was all she had left. 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

__

And when we walk down the street  
The wind sings our name in rebel songs  
The sounds of the night should make us anxious  
But it's much to late when the fear is gone

- megadeth

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Goku raced across the skies towards Bulma's house. Unlike the turmoil in their heads, his was calm. Bulma needed him. So he was going to Bulma. 

Simple. 

He was less sure of what to do once he actually got to her. Before, whenever she was in trouble he could come fight whatever bad guy had her and rescue her. This time it wasn't as simple. How could he rescue her from herself? 

It didn't matter though. He'd figure out what needed to be done and he'd do it. 

He'd do anything for her. 

Ever since before he could remember, she was his definition of a girl, and of what a girl _should_ be. 

She was strong and independent, and yet so fragile in his arms. 

She smelled like lilacs and summer nights. 

Her hair was spun silk and her skin was so soft, he was ashamed of his own callous hands. 

She was nice, always stood up for the underdog- and ruthless when people messed with someone she cared about. 

When she smiled at him, it made him smile. 

When she was sad, he hurt inside too. 

And she accepted him, she always had even when he had a tail, even when she saw how powerful he was, even when she found out he was an alien. She never once looked at him like he was some sort of a freak, never once looked scared of him. She was the only one that was always….proud of him. 

And he'd lay down his life for her.

Simple.

sigh…I'm such a romantic….


	3. ...sands of time run out...

__

…so this story is getting some really mixed reviews, including my first ever flames. It's ok though, I'm slightly singed but not too scorched. I put up a warning in the first chapter, hopefully it might deter people from reading it if they are opposed to the pairing. I've decided to combat the flame-age with positivity and thus want to thank some wonderful people who have encouraged me. It's easy to want to just give up when people start flaming you, but just a few kind words can go such a long way.

So to all the wonderfully supportive people that sent me reviews, especially Connie (your e-mail meant so much to me at a point when I was feeling pretty lousy), Vegetas-Princess (not only does her reviews put a smile on my face, but everyone says I love you was one of the first g/b fics I read and what influenced me to write my own), Lauren (for being a V/B fan and still having an open mind to other pairings), and just everyone else that reviewed! 

'so don these broken wings'

Goku found Bulma lying on her back in bed. She was still as death, but her eyes focused on his.

"Hey," he called out to her softly, stepping into the room, "your mom said you didn't go into work today." 

Her eyes lazily returned to the ceiling.

"I'm playing hooky today. I'm the boss, I can do that you know." Her words were made in jest but her tone flat lined.

"Well maybe it's good that you're getting to catch up on sleep." He stood there awkwardly, not sure what to say or do.

"Sleep?" she snorted, "sleep is the farthest thing from me at the moment. I think I spent most of last night memorizing the cracks in the ceiling. One of them looks kind of like a three headed dragon."

"Oh, Bulma." He crawled into the bed next to her, lying on his side to look at her. 

"Oh, Goku." she mimicked with a roll of her eyes. "I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired, maybe I'm coming down with something."

Goku flopped on to his back. Whatever was bothering her, she wasn't about to come out and say. His glance took in the masculine room.

"Where are we anyway?"

"Vegita's room."

Goku's heart jumped a little at her casual answer. Maybe she could be blasé about being there, but Vegita would kill him!

"Don't freak, he's gone….somewhere."

He relaxed a little.

"Why are you sleeping in here anyway? What's wrong with your room." The room they were in was nice, but it wasn't half the size of her room.

She gave a half shrug from her position next to him.

"It smells like him: the sheets, the pillows… when I close my eyes, it almost feels like he's here holding me. I don't know. Sometimes it's just nice to be held."

Wordlessly he pulled her against his chest.

"He never touches me anymore Goku. Before…." she sighed, "He used to play with my hair –when I was asleep- he thought I didn't know but I did. He'd always leave if he thought I was awake…. So sometimes I'd pretend to sleep, and he'd run his hand through my hair and wrap it around his fingers…. Now he won't even look at me. And when he does…. It's like he doesn't even know me.

"You know, Lauren told me I didn't love him. She said I might have loved being with him, but I didn't love him. She was wrong though. So maybe we weren't _in love._ So maybe we didn't use the 'l word' and maybe he didn't bring me flowers and I didn't stop breathing every time I saw him but- I wouldn't have been with him if I didn't love him."

  
"You're acting like it's over already. I'm sure if you just talk to him-"

"Talk to him? This is Vegita. I don't think a touchy-feely conversation about emotions is going to do anything. Besides it _is _over. Even when he's with me, he's gone."

"I think you're wrong. Vegita isn't the type to do anything he doesn't want to. He wouldn't still be here if he didn't care about you and Trunks."

"I don't want to talk about this right now, Goku. Just stay with me. Please."

"Of course Bulma, I'll never leave you."

__

"I'm going to get some firewood, are you going to be ok staying here?"

"Of course I'm going to be ok Goku, why wouldn't I be?"

"I just don't want you to get worried. I'll be right back."

He slipped off into the darkness and she eyed the shadows dancing around the cave nervously. The silence seemed oppressive and she wondered if her last thoughts would be why the hell she let Goku leave.

True to his word though, he was back soon. The sight of him struggling to balance his huge load of firewood combined with the relief she felt that he was back and made her laugh out loud. She jumped up and helped him unload his burden.

After they got the fire started, the flames warmed the cave, flickering against the walls, making it seem even cozy. She felt almost foolish for being afraid earlier. She should have known he wouldn't have gone if he thought it wasn't safe.

"Goku? Don't ever leave me, ok?"

"I'd never leave you Bulma. It's us against the world, remember?"

Sometime later Vegita came home. He sensed the other saiyan's ki long before he reached his room. The door was left opened and he stared in. The two were asleep, Bulma curled up against Goku, a pale hand stretched across his waist. They were both fully clothed –he wasn't concerned about that. And any anger he might have felt at his long time nemesis sleeping peacefully in _his_ bed with _his_ woman melted into resignation. 

He closed the door and walked away.

It wasn't as if he hadn't seen this coming, and it wasn't as if she was really _his_ anymore either. Maybe she had never been. The past few months he could feel her withdrawing. She thought he didn't want to touch her anymore… maybe it would have been different if he could have ignored how she flinched every time he tried to, every time anybody tried to. 

She was closing herself off from everyone. 

The scene he had just witnessed reemerged.

Well, she was closing herself off from almost everyone.

He ducked into the nursery, knowing what he had to do. He stopped in front of Trunks crib and stared down at the infant tossing in its bed. His little hands thrashed as he fussed in his sleep.

"Hey brat." Vegeta's whisper was hoarse, but soothed the boy instantly. Sleepy lids lifted and stared up at him. "Well you know your father, that's a good thing." He reached his hand down and let the boy grab his finger. He chuckled at the strong grip before sobering up. "I'm leaving. You don't understand, but someday you will. I can't stay. But- I'm not leaving _you_. You are my son, and I will be back to make you regret that. So enjoy the next couple years. You're surrounded by people that love you and are going to try and make you a weakling with their constant pampering, But when you're older, I'll come back. I'll come back and train you so that you can be the strongest and fastest, I'll teach you about who you are and what you are, and I'll make you into a proper saiyan." He stared at his sons blue eyes and purple hair and amended his statement. "Well, I'll make you as saiyan as a half-saiyan can be at least."

He left the room without another word.

The phone ringing was the only thing distracting him from slipping out of the house right then. No one else except him and the two sleeping together in his room was there to answer it. He cursed his weakness as he lifted it from its cradle. He didn't know when he'd gotten so soft, but he tried not to think about it as he gave the mother of his child and his arch enemy a moment of peace.

"What?" he growled quietly into the receiver.

"Vegeta?" Chi-Chi's voice came from the other line. He was regretting his moment of weakness already. He grunted in answer.

"Is Goku there?"

Silence.

"He's with Bulma." 

"Oh."

"………."

"So this is really it isn't it?"

"They're not doing anything woman. They're just sleeping."

"I know… but… how long have you known?"

"What?"

"I've known for a couple years or maybe I've always known. You know what did it though? I had made Goku this huge feast of all his favorite foods. He always loved my cooking. And he's sitting there in the middle of eating it, food in hand, when she came. She was upset about something and I guess she realized she shouldn't have come and tried to leave. Goku went after her. I knew he would but –this sounds stupid- he had a drumstick in his hand and he set it down before he went after her. He didn't take it with him, or waste the half a second it'd take to stick it in his mouth. _He set it down_. I think that's the only time I ever saw him set food down. And I just sort of knew."

Click.

A dial tone sounded and she hung up her side of the phone too.


	4. ...bell of hades rings...

__

…so the last chapter brought even more flames but never fear –or maybe you should- because there's no stopping me! ::maniacal laugh:: So there's some more sadness in this part, had to be done, but this chapter sort of marks the turning point in her depression so starting next chapter it'll be a little more light hearted. Emeril Lagasse makes an appearance here (I don't own him….but oh the things I would do if I did) and also we meet Bulma's psychoanalyst Dr. Michaels (who I do own). 

So review of the moment, SapphireAngelofNight…this is a girl that knows what's she's doing. She mentioned that she wasn't sure why Vegeta and ChiChi weren't doing anything and she's dead on because I never did explain that. My take on it, was Vegeta would probably fight to the death anyone that tried to take Bulma away from him, but here it's like she's leaving him and I don't think his pride would let him beg her back or even try to get her back if he thought there was a chance she might choose someone over him (and we all know he has insecurity issues with goku). And chichi, well it's good that y'all are feeling somewhat sorry for her, I can't say she's going to live happily ever after but she definitely gets vindicated in the end so watch for that. Why I really liked her review though, was because she offered great criticism (once the story is finished that's something I'll want to go back and develop more) and yet was still encouraging, so thanks!

So many others were absolutely wonderful…but I don't want to take up too much room before you get to the story so I'll put them at the end…

And lastly, to the 'fans' I've lost: I'm sorry to hear that. Not that I lost you, but that I had fans with such hate in their hearts to begin with. 

'bell of hades ring'

Bulma searched her desk frustrated. 

"Damn gnomes keep stealing my damn pencils," she muttered under her breath. Her assistant peeked into the large office and watched her boss cautiously.

"Um, Miss Briefs?"

"Yes, Suzy?" she answered, but her gaze hadn't left the area she was searching.

"You're appointment with Dr. Michaels is in an hour." This finally stilled her movements and she looked up at Suzy.

"Oh, you know I just have way too much to do today. Can you reschedule it?"

"This'll be the third time you've rescheduled it in a month."

"Oh, I hadn't realized. Ok, um I'll try to make it." she glanced at her desk once more, "if only I could find a goddamn pencil!" She pounded her desk with both palms and let a pent up sigh of frustration escape. Suzy looked first at the two pencils behind her boss's ears, then the one stuck haphazardly in her hair and opened her mouth. Bulma growled and kicked the desk violently. Suzy changed her mind and instead just ducked out of the door. No body wanted to face off with a crazy person.

Roughly an hour later had her standing outside Dr. Michaels office debating whether or not to enter. She had started seeing the psychoanalyst a year or two ago when she officially took over the company. She had been under incredible stress and it had begun to show on her. She hadn't been able to sleep or eat, and she had been perpetually irritable. Someone had recommended him to her and she had given it a shot. He had done wonders for her, and she continued to see him once every couple weeks to check in. Lately though, she hadn't kept an appointment with him in months. She just didn't have the time to these days, and it's not like she really needed it anymore. It was just nice to sit down and talk to somebody every once and a while. 

She looked down at her watch, she was fifteen minutes late already. She had arrived early enough, but staring at the door she didn't think she could go in. She really wasn't in the mood to be bothered about what was going on and _how she was feeling_. That's what she really didn't want to hear. Everything she told him, his reply would be, '_And how do you feel about that?_' If she knew how she felt about it, would it really be necessary to see him in the first place? Besides, sometimes denial was comforting.

She knew she had a problem. She knew she hadn't been herself lately. But she could handle it on her own, she'd been doing fine so far. She didn't need some quack shrink to help her live her own life. 

But she hadn't been doing a great job of living lately had she? With a sigh of resignation, she reluctantly reached for the door knob.

"Good afternoon Bulma."

"Hi Dr. Michaels, I'm sorry I'm late I was just-"

"Standing outside trying to decided whether or not to come in? Have a seat dear." He was an older man, with warm eyes and an easy smile. He always used these endearments when he talked to her, like he really cared. It was nice knowing someone did, even if she had to pay him. She smiled weakly at him and sat down in the oversized arm chair, tucking her legs beneath her. "You don't look so well, how have you been sleeping?"

"Fine." There was a critical gaze assessing her beneath those warm eyes. She was in a sorry state if she felt the need to lie to her own doctor. "Well, fine in the sense of not really sleeping at all…" she amended.

"What's been troubling you?"

"Nothing…everything, I don't know."

"Ok, well how's your home life. Any conflicts there?"

"Not really."

"How's your son, he doing all right?"

"Yeah, he's growing bigger every day. He's got his father's scowl though, lucky for him he's got my smile to even it out!"

"And how is the father doing?"

"Non applicable?"

"Pardon me?"

"He's… gone."

"I see."

"No, you don't. I mean he's left before but, this…this time I don't think he's coming back."

"What makes you say that?"

"A feeling. I don't know. You'd have to know him. He's got this undeniable presence, this energy. Even when he'd leave it'd linger. It's almost like this metaphysical version of how dogs pee to mark their territory…. and it's gone. I can barely feel him anymore."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Don't ask me that! Why don't _you_ tell _me_? What am I paying you for anyway?"

"Bulma…"

"I don't know how I feel about that. I try not to think about it at all."

"Why?"

"Because it hurts damnit!"

She cradled her head in her hands and tried to think about anything else but that. 

"You know it's only going to fester and get worse if you don't deal with it, dear."

A couple deep breaths calmed her down enough to lift her head back up.

"I know." The torment in her watery eyes forced him to change the subject.

"How is work?"

"Good, busy, but I've been accomplishing a lot lately. Seems like I've been there more then I've been home recently."

"All work and no play-"

"I know, makes an unbalanced life. But I've been playing too. Goku's been dropping by a lot. It seems like he's taking cheering me up as his latest mission. With him, it's like if he doesn't have a mission he feels useless…"

"Goku is…?"

"My best friend."

"Oh…right, the slow one, was it?"

"Did I say he was slow? He's not slow exactly, more simple. People think Goku is stupid, but he's not. He just has a really simple way of seeing things. He accepts what he see and feels without over analyzing them. People like him could put you out of business."

"Well I'll be sure to watch out."

"I don't talk about him here much do I? I guess it's because he's always been the constant in my life, the only thing I don't have to worry about. I don't think he's really changed since he was a kid, he's still so pure. And it's like the dirt on my soul doesn't seem so marring when I'm with him. Now I'm getting all philosophical, you know you're in trouble."

"Dirt on your soul? How do you mean?"

"I think everybody's soul collects some filth growing up. It's hard to not be tainted by the world around you. Goku's got like blinders on, he doesn't let the darkness touch him. Running Capsule Corporation alone is responsible for half the smudges on me. When your in positions where one choice would mean polluting the environment or putting out products when your not sure they're completely safe but the other would put thousands of people out of work… anyway it's impossible to keep your hands clean."

"But being with Goku makes you feel better?"

"Yeah. It does."

Dr. Michaels had been right, big surprise, not talking about what was bothering her was just making the fist inside her stomach fester. The problem with bringing up all her fears to the surface though, was now she had to deal with them, and dealing had never been her strong suit. The alcohol didn't help much either.

It wasn't as if she'd set out to get drunk. She wasn't swigging hard liquor from the bottle or anything. A glass of red wine before bed helps the heart and soothes the voices in her mind. That was all. 

See, even now, the voices telling her that the 'glass' of red wine had turned into half a dozen, were fading and getting fuzzier. It was a pleasant sort of numb. If only one could go through life like that.

She looked up at the figure towering over her through blurred vision. Her eyes tried to play a trick on her but she shook her head clear.

"Hey Goku, have a seat." She gestured to a spot next to her on the roof. The fresh night air was cool, but a welcome feeling. She had crawled out here earlier when her spacious house had turned oppressive and suffocating.

"Bulma? I don't think you should be up here when you're drinking. You could get hurt."

"I'm a big girl, Goku. I can take care of myself." When he didn't move to sit she added, "besides, you're here now. You'll keep me safe."

"Of course I will." He took a seat next to her, but declined the bottle she offered. He never understood why people drank alcohol. "What are you doing up here?" 

"Thinking. Look at all those stars up there, so far away. If Vegeta-sei still existed, do you think we'd be able to see it from here? Would it look like one of those little dots, or would you just know it was your home?"

"I don't know, I never really thought about it."

"I bet Vegita would know exactly where it would be."

"Is that what this is about, Bulma?"

"Hmmm?" she tore her gaze away from the stars to look at her friend.

"Vegita, is he the reason you're drinking?"

"They really are beautiful you know."

"Bulma…" His voice was full of concern and sympathy. 

She hated it. 

He didn't know what it was like. He didn't know how she felt. 

She hated the pity she knew she'd see in his eyes.

She knew what he was thinking. 'Poor Bulma, couldn't keep a man.' Like he was so much better then her.

So what if he was strong, and righteous and a savior.

__

She didn't need saving.

She took him by surprise and kissed him hard on the mouth. She didn't know what made her do it. Desperation, fear, the alcohol or maybe she just had something to prove. She poured herself into the kiss but Goku didn't move. He didn't resist and he didn't respond. She pulled away, tears streaming down her face.

"What?" she stood up, ignoring how precarious her position was. "Don't you want me? _I'm_ beautiful! _I'm_ smart! _I'm_ rich! I'm…. I'm….I'm all alone." she wrapped her arms around her waist, the sobs that wracked her body threatening to cause her to fall. 

He reached a hand out to her, but she jerked away from him, unbalancing her already unsteady stance. He caught her easily as she fell and brought her inside the house. He laid her down on her bed before climbing in after her. She turned on her side so that her back was to him but he could still see her shoulders shake from her tears. 

"You're not alone Bulma," he whispered before turning off the light and flooding the room with darkness.

It was a week before she saw Goku again. The light of day had found her blushing with embarrassment and swearing off alcohol. Things had been strained between the two of them since that night, but in a way it had been the catalyst she needed to turn her life around. She hadn't liked where it was headed, but she hadn't cared enough to do anything about it. That wasn't to say she was 'cured'. There was no such thing. And that wasn't to say her life was magically perfect again either. But she cared now, and that was more then she could have said just a month ago. 

"Where'd ya want the lilacs miss?" She stared at the man addressing her.

"Lilacs? You mean lilies right?"

"Nope, says here lilacs."

"I ordered lilies. I know I specifically _ordered lilies_. Lilies mean welcome, lilacs mean…. I don't know what they mean. Just get them out of here and get me the lilies!" The subordinate scurried off quickly. She was hosting a ball on behalf of Capsule Corporation in two days for some visiting foreign dignitaries, naturally with the ulterior motive of networking, and everything _had_ to be perfect. Which meant she was directly in charge of overseeing everything, from the flowers to the music to the guest list…. it was enough to give her a migraine.

"Wow, this place is really coming together great Bulma!"

"Hey Goku, what's up?"

"Just wanted to see how you were doing." She might have believed him if he wasn't drifting closer and closer to the kitchen.

"Goku, no!" She yanked him away from the double doors by the collar of his shirt, "Bad Goku, bad!"

"I'm sorry Bulma but it's Emeril Lagasse!" He stared longingly in the direction of the famous chef she had managed to get to cater the affair. He really was a sweetheart. She had heard how temperamental chefs could be but he was wonderful. Even now he was preparing some sample hors d'oeuvre for her to try.

"Goku, the last thing any of us need is to unleash you upon the poor man. I'll tell you what, if they're any leftovers, you'll get first picking."

"Are you going to be ok going by yourself Bulma? I mean you don't have Vegita to go with you."

"Do you think he ever went with me before? I had a hard enough time getting him to make an appearance when it was at our house, nevertheless try to drag him to one somewhere else. I'm used to it."

"I'll go with you, if you want."

"You really want that food, don't you?"

"Yeah." he grinned sheepishly, "I'm serious though. If you want some company I'd go with you."

"Yeah, you know it'd be really nice to see a familiar face there. Just…just promise me you'll go easy on the buffet?"

__

What'd y'all think? the ball next chapter which is where the real stuff begins to happen. So this story is just fighting to get free despite the negativity! Looks like it might be finished in a week or two, which is good because I've been somewhat neglecting my other ficcies. 

Now, because I simply can't not thank some people because their reviews meant so much to me…

Secretsguirl, ssjprincess, nekoni: thanks for reviewing every chapter, nice to know people are reading it

RaliNeoBlade, chloe and saiyan serpent: y'alls reviews were insightful and descriptive, sometimes it is nice to know why people like something… 

Amy, Izzy, and Alexa as well as any other non ff.net members that reviewed (I'm sure I'm forgetting some people)…. thanks, y'all are the reason I've kept it open to all reviewers…

Thanks to everybody that reviewed. Flames hurt. I won't lie and say it doesn't matter to me, because they do. You shouldn't care what other people think about you, but it's human nature to. I know flamers don't really think about the person on the receiving end, we may be faceless to them, but we're not emotionless. A good review can be a sort of virtual hug! This isn't a plea to garner sympathy for me, I'd just like to raise awareness to the fact and ask everybody to send their love and support to some of the other wonderful authors who've been scorched by Random and Senseless Flameage (RSF). I'm not asking for y'all to start a campaign, but if you ever come across a target of RSF, just send a nice word or two. You might be surprised the difference it could make…. 


	5. ...is this a nightmare...

__

A lot of stuff has been hashed out on my review board and a lot of people have been hurt in the process. So let's just stop the hating! Please? Anyway, I'm trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative… which isn't too hard because I absolutely adore the lot of you… in particular:

Burned Vamp: thank you for your in depth review! you made me blush! people like you make posting fics worthwhile… 

Saiyan Serpent: (as if I didn't go on enough about her the last chapter) but seriously… anyone who is at all confused about my story… read her review! She captures so eloquently (and much more concisely then I) exactly what I was trying to get at. Her review is exactly what I wanted this story to be about! You rock girl!

Secretsguirl: You're awesome! I was waiting for someone to mention Emeril… I'm like in love with him! I can't help but think were soul mates… after all he loves to cook and I love to eat!

Nekoni: yeah…that was way more then a little bit early. What I meant by that scene (which didn't come across too clear, sometimes I forget to explain things because I understand it and I forget not all my readers have esp!) is not that bulma kissed goku… at least not in a romantic sense. She was just feeling pretty worthless and she was trying to prove her desirability/ validate her self worth by kissing the **guy** next to her. Kind of to 'prove she still got it' if you would. Of course it backfired and only made her feel worse. The point is though, that she might have reacted that way with any guy next to her. It didn't reflect on her feelings for Goku at all. Reading it over, it is a bit confusing and I'm going to go back later and add some more after that part to clear it up a bit. Thanks for catching that!

ssjprincess: make all the speeches you want! You were right on about the encouragement thing.

I know, I know… y'all aren't here to read about me and I'm sure you want to get to the story. But do me a favor and read this message from Vegeta's Princess first. Thanks!

****

Hey, PLEASE stop writing your problems about me on this fic. If YOU have a problem with ME, then hit ME with it sweetheart DON'T take your problems out on anyone else, they don't have ANYTHING to do with me and you. If you're too chicken to bring your problems to me, then they obviously aren't THAT important anyway. Just one quick question though, if you don't like incest fics, then how exactly do you know I reviewed one? Hmm? Or did you just find a fic that was different, and flame it's reviewers. But, you my dear, are the WORST kind of flamer. The chicken kind. Leave an email address, I DARE YOU!! Better yet, come read one of my fics, you ignorant wench. I'm sorry if you can't handle the fact that not everyone in this world conforms to what YOU want them to be, I REALLY am. But, like I said before, You got a problem with me, then bring it baby!

__

Ok… (cue music: 'why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends?…') on to the story….

'is this a nightmare?'

The night of the ball, Bulma pulled up to the house feeling like Cinderella. So her 'prince' had left her. She'd do fine on her own. She opened the door to her car and stepped out, careful of her long skirts. She saw Chi-Chi through the kitchen window and waved to her as she stepped into the house.

"Hi Bulma, you look beautiful."

"Thanks, is Goku ready?"

"Ready? For what?"

"The ball-" she noticed the confused look on the other woman's face, "didn't he tell you?"

"Goku!" She screeched. He skidded in quickly, his rented tuxedo askew. "Was there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Hmmm." Goku scratched his head, and looked between the two women, "Oh, I'm going with Bulma to a CC ball tonight."

"Tonight? Don't you think you've been spending enough time with Bulma recently?"

"Yeah, but with Vegita gone-"

"I've been cooking for four hours straight preparing your favorite meal. You didn't think to tell me you weren't going to be here at all during that time?"

"Oh it's ok Chi Chi. There's going to be food there."

There was no point in arguing with Goku. She spun around to look at Bulma. 

"This is all your fault!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know Goku hadn't told you."

"When would he have found the time? He's practically with you every second of the day! Just because you can't hold on to your own man doesn't mean you can steal mine!"

"What? I'm not trying to steal Goku away-"

"You know, you think you're some sort of princess. You think you can just have whatever you want and who cares about the consequences. Think again!"

"It's not like that Chi-Chi. With everything happening, I've been feeling pretty low. Goku's just been trying to cheer me up."

"I'm sure."

"It's true. I've been miserable for so long, Vegita leaving was just the straw that broke the camels back. And Goku's been helping me a lot. Some days, he's the only reason I wake up in the morning. I'm sorry… I've just been so sad lately…"

"You're sad? That's your excuse? You can break up my family because you're _sad_?"

"Look, let's not do this. Goku… why don't you just stay here ok? I'll save you the leftovers from the ball."

"Oh, playing the martyr? Go with her Goku."

"No, just stay. It's ok."

"Go."

"Really, just stay here."

Goku looked between the two women. His basic survival instinct was telling him to escape. Whatever happened, it couldn't be good. Chi-Chi's loud voice settled the matter.

"Go with her Goku. Frankly, I don't think I can stand to look at either one of your faces tonight anyway."

That seemed to settle the issue and the two left quietly. 

The car ride was tense and strained. The silence seemed deafening. Goku smiled, and made an effort to lighten the mood.

"So, what menu did you decide on?"

Bulma played along and smiled too, though it didn't reach her eyes.

"It's a surprise."

More silence.

"Look, Goku, maybe you should just go back and work things out with her."

"No."

"She seemed really upset. I wouldn't mind if you did, really. You're marriage is more important then some stupid ball."

"Bulma…" he called her named softly but she wouldn't take her eyes off the road to meet his gaze. "I'm here because I want to be. She'll get over it."

"Maybe she's right. I have been monopolizing a lot of your time lately. Maybe we shouldn't hang out as much."

"I don't think-"

"We're here. Let's just go in and have a good time. We can talk about this later."

"Ok, Bulma."

Goku had a good time at the ball –the food was amazing! But Bulma went straight to work as soon as she got there. He watched her flit from one group to the next, playing the hostess and securing business partners with practiced ease. She'd laugh and touch a man's arm, flutter her eye lashes and describe the prediction for next fiscal years profit margins versus the cost ratio of packaging and shipping. She was beautiful, intelligent and absolutely undeniable. There wasn't a man in that room that wasn't ready to sign over his company when she turned her attentions on him. 

Power oozed out of every pore, she was clearly in her element.

But Goku hated her 'party laugh'. It was fake and held none of the beauty of her real one. He hated the men that stared into her crystal eyes, but didn't notice the carefully hidden bags beneath them. And he hated the way she swayed to the music as she talked, but couldn't go out and dance.

The party began to dwindle down until there was only a dozen odd guests left from the original hundred or so. With a triumphant grin, Bulma finally made her way over to him.

"Hey Goku, Murphy Co. wants us to produce the digi-tech chip in their new cyber pets!"

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's a 7.8 million dollar deal so yeah, I'd say it qualifies as a good thing!"

"That's great Bulma."

"So, did you enjoy the party?"

"Yeah, it was good. I guess you didn't really need me though, you seemed to handle it all on your own!"

"Oh, but I'm so glad you came. Just being able to look over and see a familiar face was such a comfort to me Goku. Thank you so much for coming."

"No problem Bulma. Do you have to stay until everybody leaves?"

"There's not too many people left, why don't we take a walk. I could use some fresh air."

They walked through the gardens in a comfortable silence. After the noise of the party, it was a welcome change. The two stopped at a wrought iron bench and sat down, they could still hear the music of the party far away in the distance. 

"I'm really sorry about what happened earlier with Chi-Chi, Goku." Bulma started, "I hope you can work things out with her."

"She's been acting weird recently, but she always calms down. I'm sure she'll be over it by the time I get home." Goku told her confidently. In truth, he had already forgotten about the incident.

"I hope so. I know how it feels to lose someone you love."

Goku made an odd sound beside her.

"What?"

"I don't know. Just, sometimes I wonder whether or not I love her."

"Goku!"

"That sounded bad." he sent her a sheepish grin and scratched the back of his neck. "I meant, I wonder if I can love at all. Maybe saiyans aren't capable of love."

"Vegita always told me saiyans didn't love, but that could be something that's taught, not necessarily something that's genetic."

"What if it is genetic? What if there's some sort of code in your DNA that let's you love, and what if I don't have it? I like Chi-Chi… most times. I have affection for her, and I'd never want anything bad to happen to her, I'd never let anything hurt her… but is that love? What about what she said? If I really loved her, would I still rather spend time with you?"

"I don't know about that Goku, but you can love. I know you can because you have one of the biggest hearts of anybody I've ever known. You love this whole freaking planet, you wouldn't risk your life to save it again and again if you didn't. You're love is self-less and unconditional, that's the best kind there is."

"I hope you're right Bulma."

They stared out at the night sky.

"There is a difference between romantic love and friend love though. Like you wouldn't do the same things with me you'd do with Chi-Chi!" She laughed and he sent her a goofy grin.

"I don't know… I'm you're _friend_ and you _kissed _me!"

"I hate you!" she laughed again –a real laugh and not one of her fake party laughs. "I thought I made you promise to never bring that up again! Besides, that was different. I was drunk, and upset and I don't know…. I just wanted to feel beautiful."

"You are beautiful."

She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. 

"Why aren't there more guys out there like you?"

"Because most of my race was annihilated?"

She laughed again, he loved hearing her laugh.

"Don't give me that! I know there weren't any other saiyans like you!"

"Why are you so interested in Saiyans anyway? Chi-chi never talks about it… I think it bothers her that I'm an alien. She tries to pretend it's not true."

She pulled back to look at him.

"I don't know, I think it's interesting. Besides, it's a part of you… even if you don't remember any of it."

She was exhausted, her eyes were glassy and the makeup she had applied hours earlier had all but worn off. The bags under her eyes were now fully visible and the night highlighted just how pale her skin had become. Even the elaborate chignon her long hair had been swept up into had come undone, and loose strands hung down. 

But then she gave him a smile and everything seemed to disappear. 

The moon light shone down on her, bouncing off her hair and giving her an ethereal appearance. Her lips were red and full and her eyes were so blue they could drown him. 

Blue was his favorite color.

Goku knew enough to follow his instincts and leaned over and captured her lips in a gentle kiss.

She pulled away immediately.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She was shocked and confused but she felt like maybe she knew it all along.

"I don't know." He seemed to echo her emotions.

He leaned over and kissed her again, more insistently.

She pulled away once more, this time lingering a bit longer then necessary.

"Goku… it's wrong. It's so wrong for so many reasons on so many levels."

Each sat back and stared out into the night sky.

He was everything she had ever wanted.

This time she initiated the kiss and the voices telling them just how wrong it was faded.

She lay in bed with him hours later, the sheets tangled around their naked bodies, the stench of sex and lies in the air. 

It wasn't how she thought it'd be.

She thought there'd be some sort of great revelation, that'd she have an epiphany and every thing would suddenly make sense. She was wrong. She was no less confused then before. She supposed she should feel guilty. She supposed she should feel ashamed. But all she felt was... tired.

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…I don't know… minor revisions made… still not too thrilled but It'll do for now… 


	6. ...smell of brimstone dancing in the fla...

****

Warning: this chapter contains some sickly sweet sappiness… if you have a week stomach, you might want to skip a couple of the paragraphs near the beginning.

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Ok, this chapter is dedicated to BluEydMnstr, hell the rest of the fic can be dedicated to her(/him?)! I can't believe you're apologizing for the length! I love long reviews, and yours put such a smile on my face. Not that I don't absolutely adore simple reviews (they rock! I love them!) but yours was so touching and personal that it was really refreshing. I normally don't drag out my personal life in these notes but this was a really emotional story for me to write because it's been a sort of therapy for me to help work out some of my own issues… I love the word you used… 'crafted' because it fits so well. This wasn't a 'hey let's throw some words together' sort of thing like, I'll admit, some of my other fics were. I was almost hesitant about posting this because it's been sort of my baby. In Bulma and Goku, I see a lot of what my situation was (only in the show I think they were a lot smarter not to get involved). If you cried when reading parts, It touches me because some of them I cried while writing. It was a really good way to get out some of the emotions I didn't know how to express in my real life. So thanks, you're review meant a lot to me and I just really wanted you to know that. And anyway… the wonderful thing about fiction is that I hope to give them the happy ending real life didn't give me…

so enough depressing talk…. this chapter is a bit lighter in parts and a lot of stuff happens… one of those if you blink you'll miss something parts… as to the warning… right after Bulma and Goku talk in the beginning, there's an extremely sappy part that you'll want to skip over if you're not into that. Just want to give you fair warning… 

'smell of brimstone dancing in the flame'

Bulma stared up at the ceiling, willing herself not to vomit as the implications finally set in. Sitting up, she tugged the sheet around her to hide her body in belated modesty. A thin sheen of sweat coated her body and she pushed back her damp hair, closing her eyes she said the lines she knew she had to.

"This- this was a mistake."

Two hearts constricted painfully at the simple statement.

"That was so wrong Goku, god… what have we done?"

He stared at her, silent.

"… so wrong. How could we have let that happen?"

"Could we have stopped it?"

She ignored his quiet question and swung her legs over the bed, her back to him.

"Do you have any idea just how wrong that was?"

"Yeah…" he agreed somberly but then changed his mind, "No, actually I don't Bulma. Why was it so wrong?"

"Why? Chi-Chi… Gohan… Trunks… there's too many people this could hurt."

"I don't want to hurt them either but… what do _you_ feel?"

"I feel… I feel like I don't want to hurt people I care about."

"Well then maybe I'm just being selfish, but I don't want to lose that feeling I get when I have you in my arms."

"Goku-" 

"Last night, I told you I didn't know if I could love… but I think I just didn't know what love was. I know now Bulma, because I-"

"Don't. Just don't…" 

She silenced him with a kiss, the desperation and urgency from the night before replaced with a gentleness. She loved the way he kissed, it was so like him. He put his entire soul into it. She wanted to tell him he wouldn't last a minute out in the real world. That he had to hide his feelings better, that he shouldn't let her know how much he wanted her. That it was supposed to be all a game. Out there, the guys were all control and expertise and cool stealth. They knew exactly what to do to get them what they wanted, petty things like emotions and feelings never entered into play. With them, a kiss was just a kiss. With Goku… it was so much more.

The night before was about passion and need. It had been so long since a man had touched her. But when they came together this second time, there was an indescribable softness there that hadn't existed before. She melted into him and it became more then a union of bodies, but a meshing of souls. 

When they finally collapsed, satisfied, he drew her to him until her head rested on his chest, her small hands captured in his large ones. He marveled at how soft and fragile they were. He could break the bones in her hand with a sneeze. But he'd never hurt her, and he quickly abandoned the morbid train of thoughts. She had such perfect fingernails, clean and clear and strong. He looked at his own callused hands and his dirty fingernails. He dropped her hands and instead idly ran his hand over her back.

"Let's go on an adventure Bulma."

"Goku," she smiled at him wearily, "we've been over this before. You know we can't."

"I know… but let's just say we will, even if we never do… let's just say were going to go on a grand adventure."

She yawned a little, smiled a bit more, and snuggled up against him.

"Where would we go?"

He gave her body a slight squeeze and a goofy grin spread across his face.

"Outer space."

"Would it be dangerous?"

"Hopefully!"

"But you'll protect me."

"With my life."

He kissed the top of her head.

"And what would we do on this 'grand adventure'?"

"Well we'd…."

Hours later she stood at the door to her house wrapped up in a soft robe. Goku had just stepped outside.

"Do you have to go?"

"Yeah, I better." He planted a kiss on her lips, her hand reached up to pull him closer but dropped short of its goal once she regained control. 

"Call me?"

"Yeah." He kissed her one last time.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Chi-chi!"

The two pulled away, their earlier guilt returning full force, as well as panic and fear.

"I was worried! You didn't come home last night! Something told me I'd find you here but I never imagined…"

"It's not-"

"What it looks like? Funny, I think it's _exactly_ what it looks like!"

"I'm so-"

"sorry? You're sorry alright, as well as a coward and a snake! You couldn't even tell me to my face! You had to go screw her behind my back!"

"Chi… I never wanted to hurt you. I'd die before I hurt you." He reached a hand out to the hysterical woman but she flinched away from it.

"Die? Well you're still alive!" She took a couple of deep breaths to try and slow her racing heart. "Do… do you love her?"

"I-" he looked between the two women. Chi Chi seemed to deflate and Bulma just stood still, transfixed.

"You should have told me."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"What did you think I was going to do? Curl up and die just because of you? I'm not that weak, you know." Tears threatened to fall and disprove her statement, but she bit them back.

"That's not-"

"What? What Goku? What did you think I was going to do? Try to make you love me as much _as I love you_? Could you be so cruel?" She blinked her watery eyes furiously in an attempt to keep the tears at bay and hold on to some of her anger. "My heart will be _fine_, Goku. Just stop wasting my time!"

It wasn't until she was safely out of sight that Chi Chi let the tears slip down over her cheeks. Her small frame shook violently with the sobs that wouldn't stop coming. She knew the day would come but she never thought it'd be so soon. She thought she'd have more time with him. And she thought he'd at least be man enough to come to her and tell her himself… She wasn't lying though. She _would_ be fine. Maybe not any time soon, but she was stronger then he gave her credit for. She'd be fine on her own. She placed a hand on her stomach, over the small baby growing inside. They'd be fine on their own.

__

Then end scene with Chi chi was **heavily** inspired by a Barenaked Ladies song called "Break your heart" ( I think) and so some of the dialogue is from that… I just thought it was fitting…..oh well… so what, you didn't think I'd not let Goten be born? I love the little kid! So yeah… I've finally figured out how I want to end this story and don't worry, it's a happy ending! Now that I actually have a plan… there should only be a couple more chapters left. So you know the drill… tell me what you think!


	7. ...my flesh still crawls as i breathe yo...

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Hey, to the few still reading this! I do love y'all… you're abs fabs. This chapter though is super short, not even a chapter really, more a transition part just to kind of let you see what's been happening since the chi-chi thing… 

'Cast your verdict down to me  
Spare me your bleeding sympathy'

He stood in front of the window, a dark silhouette against the pale moon light streaming in. 

He moved not, but there was strength in that stillness, intensity in the quiet of his muscles.

He didn't know how long he stood, sightless eyes searching the cosmos.

She didn't know how long she watched, arms aching to comfort, restrained from uncertainty.

"Goku…"

There was no change in the statue before her, to suggest he'd heard her plea. 

She stared through his back, as if by sheer will alone she could penetrate the wall and see inside his heart.

A million miles separated them…

and in three steps she closed the gap.

A cautious hand raised to light softly on his shoulder.

He was stone beneath her palm, an immovable mass.

She drew her hand back to her chest.

"I'm so sorry…"

His eyes fluttered shut. He turned to her.

"Don't." 

His eyes were dry, 

but the fact did nothing to assuage her guilt.

"It's not your fault."

Her eyes dropped. 

"It's not."

He caught her chin in his hand, forcing her to meet his gaze.

He brushed away her tears beginning to fall.

Once more he told her.

"It's not your fault."

She smiled wanly at the irony as he pulled her to his chest.

Even in his grief, he was the one to offer comfort.

__

ok, and I've got a favor… one of my friends (she rocks, she's yamriffic) posted a story on ff.net (it's short but it's so good!) about lord of the rings actually, but you don't need to know anything at all about the movie/books to read it. Anyway, though it's amazing, like nobody has reviewed it…(insert sad face). So… if y'all have a free minute or two, go check it out. The link is on my favorite stories thingy in my profile, it's called . Breathing The Same Air _and it's by_ AirliaStar _and it's really awesome so tell her how cool it is and how she needs to post some of her other stuff!… only don't tell her I did this, or she'll kill me!_

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	8. ...one day the sun will die and the nigh...

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so I was looking over the chapters and I've come to the conclusion that I have rather creepy chapter titles… I was just using lines from my favorite songs but I'm thinking I should probably change them to be a bit lighter… maybe quotes from the actual book peter pan would be appropriate… who knows? 

I have a web site now, who hoo! it's at http://www.geocities.com/see_jane_conform/index.html

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so if any of y'all have any links or such you want me to put up, just leave me a note! And I know it's easy to doubt it… but there **will** be a happy ending, hopefully you'll start to see it in the next chapter or two!

'One day the sun will die and the night will crawl'

It had only been a week… seven days… a hundred and sixty eight hours… ten thousand and eighty minutes… six hundred and four thousand and eight hundred seconds… but who was counting?

It was still the longest week of his life.

Seven days ago, he held perfection in his arms. 

As long as he could remember, she had always been like the stars… so beautiful, so high above him, so completely unobtainable… and he had always been just a stupid boy pining after a goddess from below. 

When he first met her… she was so unlike anything he had ever known. He was mesmerized by the way she moved, the way she looked, the scent of her that seemed to linger even after she left… He became so blindly infatuated with her at the first smile she bestowed upon him. 

By the time he came to know her, he had been completely enraptured by the strength of her words that defied the fragility of her body, the intensity of her anger so quick to ignite and as swiftly extinguished, her thirst for adventure that mirrored his own… 

Even through the admiration and worship though… he never hoped, never dreamt of anything more. He was after everything, still a stupid child and she was so much smarter, maturer, more worldly and so far out of his reach. He had always been content with the way things were, it never pained him because to him, they had never been 'just friends'. They were friends. And that meant so much more then anything else could have. Just friends implied that their relationship was less then complete, less then it could be… He never felt that before a week ago.

It had only been a week since he watched his world crumble around him.

Since he watched his wife with tears in her eyes tell him to go to hell. And if he had had that power, he probably would have. He remembered that fateful day so many years ago when he promised to love, honor and obey. He gave his word to her, to their son, and he broke it. To a warrior without a fight… honor is the only thing left, and he didn't even have that anymore. 

His family was broken. He hadn't seen Gohan since, he couldn't bring himself to let his son see what he had become. He couldn't take much credit for him, Chi-Chi raised him near single-handedly… but the one thing he always tried to impress upon him was the importance of keeping your word. And he hadn't… not where it mattered. 

What was Chi-Chi going to do now? Would she just try to phase him out of their lives? Would she tell him what happened, or make up a lie? Would she ever let him see his son again? Would she get over this… get over him? Would she meet someone new? Would she forget?

And what was he to do now? He'd broken his word and caused them enough grief. Would staying away be the right thing to do? Or should he fight to still be a part of their lives? Would she ever forgive him? Will Gohan hate him? Will his word ever mean anything again? 

Where was he to live? He'd been staying with Bulma the past week in a spare guest room. He had no right to touch her, and nothing could happen again… at least not until he sorted out all the thoughts in his head. But he couldn't stay there forever… what was he to do?

It had only been a week since his life had been turned upside down…

Only seven days since he held perfection in his arms, then watched his world crumble.

*****************************

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Forgotten things remembered

The tigers eat their young

The body stayed but inside the head

The mind was on the run

A conspiracy of silence

The only way out of pain

Is turn around, run through it man

Too wet to come in from the rain

-megadeth (Family Tree)

*****************************

"Dinner's ready."

"Thanks." Goku glanced at her from his position at the window but made no move to leave. He turned his head back to the window, to the rain now sliding down the glass. 

"Are you coming?"

"I'm not really hungry." Bulma took a step and peeked around him at the window. "What?"

"Just checking to see if pigs were flying. You? Not hungry?" She gave him her best you're-really-making-me-worried-so-please-give-me-some-sign-that-you'll-be-ok smile. He gave her a weak smile in return.

"I guess I could eat something."

"Goku… I want you to see my psychoanalyst."

"What? I don't need… Bulma, I know I've been acting weird but I've just been thinking a lot. I just need some time to sort things out."

She put her hand on his forehead. "You've been thinking? Now I know something is wrong." He gently pulled her hand away from his forehead but didn't let go. She looked down at their linked hands. 

"Thank you, for everything. I don't know what I'll do with out you…"

"No. No, Goku… you're never going to find out. I'll never let you find out. You're stuck with me, remember?"

"I think… I need to get away, just for a while. I can't do this."

"Then don't… let's go on an adventure Goku, just the two of us."

He smiled wanly at the role reversal.

"Don't tempt me…"

"I'm serious, let's go!"

"You know we can't. Your job…"

"Screw it!"

"Your family…"

"They can live with out me for little while."

"Your son…"

Slowly she released both his hand and a heavy sigh.

__

***

Did you ever think I get lonely  
did you ever think that I needed love  
did you ever think to stop thinking  
you're the only one that I'm thinking of. 

-Megadeth (In my Hour of Need)

***

Bulma tossed the sweat soaked sheets off her body as another sleepless night claimed more of her sanity. Pulling on a light robe, she raised her window and climbed out on the roof. The cool night air chilled her body. She hugged her robe tighter to her body as she lay back on the roof and stared into the starry sky. 

Funny that she used to come out there to be alone, and yet it was the one place she almost always had company. She didn't know what it was with all the over protective men in her life… or that were in her life. As cool and seemingly removed as Vegeta was, he would still always sit just out of sight to watch over her when she sat on the roof. He was so damn sure of himself, he probably never realized she could feel him the minute he walked into a room… or onto a roof as the case may be. 

He always did look out after her… in his own way.

"Yeah, but where are you now Vegeta?" she called out into the empty night. "You're not looking out for me now, are you?"

The pain she had been keeping tightly in check began to seep out of its restraints. She was too tired… too exhausted to fight it.

"Why did you _leave_ Vegeta? Why did you leave _me_ when I needed you most? What did I do to drive you away? Did you _ever_ care about me?"

The air stilled and for a moment, she actually believed she might get an answer. The wind picked up again, whipping her hair around her face. 

"Goddamn you Vegeta! I trusted you… I loved you! Did you even look back once when you flew out of my life? It's all your fault, this whole mess of my life! If you hadn't left… we'd have still been together, and I wouldn't have slept with my best friend and Chi-Chi would have never found out and Goku wouldn't be slowly killing himself and –and everything would be all right…

"I hate you… I hate you for hurting me like this… my life was fine before you came into it! Then you had waltz in all cool and confident, powerful and in control and make me love you….

"You told me you'd be able to hear my 'screeching voice' anywhere in the galaxy… well can you hear me? _I need you_. Could you hear that?"

It was two more sleepless nights before she got her answer.

__

so yeah, I bet you can guess what that means… only I promise he's not coming back to make trouble… I guess I'm just way too obsessed with him to leave him out of a story for too long…


	9. ...rose tint my world keep me safe from ...

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so ha! I'm not dead! I've just been distracted…with a new ficcy! ::everyone runs for cover:: so it's not done, but it should be shortly and it's a bit… different… it's a goku/vegeta/bulma situation only the catch is, it's not a love triangle- more of a love three-some. kinky, no? ::ducks from flying objects and pre-emptive flames:: anywho, here's a rather short but eventful installment in Peter Pan to tide the masses… (haha):

rose tint my world – keep me safe from my trouble and pain

Bulma picked up her son and cradled him in her arms as his fussing turned to cooing. 

"Aren't you a sweet boy? You're your Mommy's little prince, yes you are!" She let out a sigh as her thoughts returned to his Mommy's other little prince. "I don't know how anything as sweet and wonderful as you could have come from that jackass." Trunks looked up inquisitively at his mother. "That's right, your daddy's a _jackass_. But don't worry, I'm sure you won't take after that lazy good for nothing lout."

"Poisoning his mind against me already?"

Bulma gasped and searched for the source of the voice. He took step out of the shadows to aid her quest. She wasn't sure if she trusted her own eyes. After all these months, after all the dreams… was he really standing a couple feet away? There was no mistaking that rigid stance or proud features… but why now?

She crossed the few steps separating them without a thought. All the anger and distance between them had faded from her mind at the sound of his voice. All that mattered was that he was here now. Sensing her mind, he folded his arms across his chest before she tried to throw herself into them.

"I'm not back for… _that_."

"Don't flatter yourself." Her chin went up as well as her defenses. "I just wanted a good look at you."

He raised a brow as to inquiry on her findings.

"You don't look well. You look like you haven't slept at all. What's wrong?"

The other brow joined the first in leveling a pointed stare at her.

"Yeah, well it's been a rough couple of days."

His gaze didn't waver.

"Yeah, fine a rough couple of months. It's not like you care anyway. If you cared you wouldn't have left."

"I don't have time for this woman."

"Then what? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" He snorted in disbelief. "You tell me. I didn't come back for my health."

"What?… oh, you heard _that_? I- but that was days ago." She colored slightly.

"I wasn't exactly in the neighborhood at the time."

"I can't believe- you _heard me_?"

"I don't know what you said… no, but I still heard you calling me. I can hear you anywhere. I told you that."

"I thought it was a joke."

"I do not joke."

"After all this time… all I had to do was- but where have you been? What have you been doing? Why did you leave? Everything has been so awful."

"There better be some sort of cosmic threat to you or the brat-"

"Well no… not exactly. But it's all messed up. I- I slept with Goku! I'm sorry but- no, I'm not. You left me! It would have never have happened if you hadn't gone! And- and- and Chi-Chi found out and she's really mad and what if she never let's Goku see his family again? And Goku is so bad- I've never seen him so torn up before. I don't know what to do Vegeta!" 

"Stop that sniveling, You disgust me. Is this what's become of you? Have you really become that weak? Oh no, boo hoo, someone's mad at me! There are those whose families have been killed, their planets destroyed, their race annihilated and you are crying because you helped a man cheat on his wife? You're pathetic. I didn't come back to this miserable planet so that you could cry on my shoulder."

"I'm sorry, Vegeta, if my weakness offends you!" She spat back at him, fire sparking in her eyes for the first time in months. "So why _did_ you come back to this _miserable planet_?"

"I thought there was some sort of crisis happening. I didn't realize it was just a spoiled girl crying in her _milk_."

"A spoiled girl? I'll show you- you arrogant asshole!" She screamed in aggravation.

He put one calm finger to his lips to cover a smirk, "Shhhh, you'll wake the baby."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. Her mouth worked up and down but she wasn't able to get any sound out. 

"Why don't you go downstairs, fix me something to eat and we'll figure out what to do with this pathetic excuse for a problem you have?"

He manipulated her shoulders so that she faced the open door, then with a gentle but insistent shove, sent her out them. She marched wide-eyed to the kitchen and he followed laughing.

She prepared the _snack _–read: small feast- wordlessly, then plopped it down on the table. She sat down across from him and grabbed one of the sandwiches, nibbling on it as he inhaled the food. 

"Well that was barely edible."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." She let out a sigh as she looked at all the empty dishes on the table. Took her fifteen minutes to make food he ate in fifteen seconds. With another weary sigh she grabbed a couple dishes and carried them over to the sink.

"Now since I'm feeling generous today and I've decided to allow you the benefit of my wisdom-" he paused at her snort, "fine, I've seen how great a job you're doing handling everything yourself."

"I'm sorry, forgive me oh great one. I am your humble pupil. Enlighten me."

"So you slept with the idiot and ruined his marriage. The question you have to ask is do you want to fix the marriage- or do you want to fix him?"

"I don't know. I-"

"Don't analyze it- you've got Michaels for that. You know the answer. What is it?"

"I- him. I want to fix him. I don't think the marriage was good for him anyway."

"I think you're a bit biased to make that judgement. So you want to be with him. There's your answer. Problem solved. I'm a genius."

"How has that solved anything? I knew that. But he's still a mess and I still don't know what to do."

"I don't know –or care- about what you do with the idiot. Get him away from here."

"We had been talking about an adventure."

"Adventure? Haven't you had enough of those?"

"That's it! Vegeta… I need a favor."

"I don't do favors."

"You haven't even heard what it is yet!"

"I don't care."

"Look, I need you to stay here and watch Trunks for a couple months."

"Absolutely not! Now you're abandoning your kid? Some mother…"

"Me? Abandoning my kid? You are such a hypocrite Mr. Disappears-For-Months-At-A-Time-And-Doesn't-Tell-Anyone-Where-He-Goes!"

"I'm no nanny! Your parents can watch the brat- they do anyway. Why would I need to stay?"

"You're his father! Besides… you know he's too strong. You should see the destruction he wreaks when he's fussy! Please? Think about it, my mom will cook all your meals, you'll have the gravity room back… all you have to do is look after one teeny tiny saiyan for a month or two."

"You would owe me so big-"

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ha ha ha…I have **no** idea what I am doing… ha ha ha


	10. ...je dois partir...

**__**

Epilogue: Two weeks later

Back at Capsule Corporation…

Something had gone wrong.

Something had gone horrifically wrong.

Vegeta stood frozen as the wailing child was thrust into his arms.

This was not part of his plan.

When he had consented to stay at Capsule Corporation, it had been with only two things in mind; food and training. He had played it as a rare generous moment on his part when he agreed to do the woman a favor, but really he had been waiting for the opportunity for months. Space wasn't what it once was, and since it had been leaked out that he was a 'good guy' it had been miserable. Nobody gave him the respect he deserved, and even when he broke a few bones… and a few skulls… he was still fighting just to find places to sleep. The minimalistic lifestyle had suited him perfectly before, but after being spoiled at CC, it was near unbearable to go back. There he had been treated as he deserved, as a prince. His meals were cooked for him, his clothes washed, there was a high-tech training program that was constantly being updated… He grew rather accustomed to sleeping in one spot for more then a night. But there was no way he would be the one to go crawling back. So when the woman asked him it seemed like it was a win-win situation all around. He hadn't thought the brat would pose any problems. After all, saiyans were self-sufficient. He certainly couldn't recall a time when _he_ wasn't. He assumed his position there was only to insure the kid didn't destroy the house. He wasn't prepared for this whiny, squirmy, leaky _thing_. It was obviously his human side coming out.

Bulma's mother watched the saiyan prince hold her grandson. Such a nice young man, she thought of him, but desperately inept at child-rearing. She sent him a vapid smile as she caught him scowling at her. Oh well, she had plenty of time to turn him into a father.

**

__

In a diner in a small trading port way out in space…

The ground shook as Goku's stomach protested the lack of food. Always one to follow the orders of his body, he sat down at a table piled high with foods. If the scent was any indication, it would be worth the wait. He cracked his neck first one way, then the next and stretched out the muscles in his arms. 

With the way he ate, warm-ups were necessary. 

He selected a choice sandwich off one of the plates and inhaled the aroma before unhinging his jaw to best fit the colossal sub into his mouth. 

A scream interrupted his methodical preparation.

He recognized it immediately as Bulma's. He'd known her long enough to begin to be able to decipher her screams and he was willing to stake his life that that one had been one of disgust and not life-endangerment. He glanced at the mouth-watering food in front of him. But was he willing to stake _her_ life on it? He reluctantly set the food down, trying to remind himself that it was, in the end, only food, and dashed off to see what kind of trouble she had gotten into this time.

The End

or is it?

__

Ok, so I'm finished with the angst! but far from finished with the story…if you enjoyed this and made it this far, well there's a couple things to look for. There is a sequel in the works already to this fic, (a much more light-hearted story focusing on our favorite couple as they traipse across the galaxy and try to figure out their relationship) as well as a short follow up to what happens to Vegeta and Trunks. Also, finally a one-shot companion piece to this where we see what became of Chi-Chi and she meets her match should be coming out soon. So maybe this story didn't end as much as I thought… sigh, well anyway, I'll try to tie up all the loose ends (of which I'm sure there are plenty). Thanks for sticking with me!


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